I Never Knew What A Kiss Meant Until
by Citrus Sunscreen
Summary: To me, a kiss was just a kiss, what other possible meaning could it hold? If only I had known. I wish I hadn’t followed my intuitions, but not knowing would only make things worse. Riku-centric.


Title: I Never Knew What a Kiss Meant Until…

Rating: T

Warnings: AUish with the cars and school….do they even have schools on the old Destiny Island? Beats me. Some minor minor OCs such as Riku's Granparents

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

* * *

I Never Knew What a Kiss Meant Until…

_I believe this lonesome me will never again believe. _

_By that time, every part of him should already silently, all alone, disappear. However, I will hope, someday, when the chance arises that his heart would remain peaceful, inhibiting his flowing tears. _

_The pain in his memory is like the coffee he had yesterday, only remembering the feeling and not remembering the taste. It is the same with tears, there is no difference, remembering the experience, whilst the heart is trying to recollect the memories of the pain, its origin, its purpose. _

_I've given my trust to so many people, but each and every one of them had all ruthlessly cut my heart in two, __my blood, my trust had also slowly dripped out, but the scar that remained is exactly the same as my tear-filled memories._

_I believe, him, the lonesome me will never again believe..._

* * *

I never knew what a kiss meant until that day. The start of the day was just another one of those average days. I got up early in the morning, following my normal routine of making breakfast, taking a shower, getting dressed for school and then settling in for breakfast with the rest of my family, my grandparents as they both brushed my silver white hair apart, pecking me on the forehead, a thank-you kiss.

The rest of the day was the downfall of my world, everyone in it, everyone.

I wasn't lonely. I was happy; I had everything I could want, almost everything. But I didn't need them, I wanted my parents, but I don't need them, I've got my grandparents and I have my friends. They're the world to me. And I'm fine with just them, I'm doing fine, I don't need my parents, I really don't need them.

Though sometimes, I'd wish that I did have my parents with me, but that'll just keep me weak, I need to be strong.

But this regular day went way beyond those abnormal days, and it started with all the kisses everyone seemed to be giving everyone else in the corridors. I just shrugged it off. It was no big deal, right? Wrong. It was a big deal, but I hadn't known at that time. To me, a kiss was just a kiss, what other possible meaning could it hold? If only I had known. I wish I hadn't followed my intuitions, but not knowing would only make things worse.

And I didn't want that, there was no need, things for me were already rolling downhill, ever since the deaths many, many years ago.

My first hint of the out of the ordinary day was from an interruption to my history class. I was pulled out of class; Sora glanced at me with worry as I was dragged past his classroom. My intuitions told me something terrible had happened, and they were usually right, they never seem to fail me. Yet I seem to fail them. And it was then that the heart breaking news was revealed to me, my grandparents had died instantly, and there was no chance. It was one of those accidents that take many lives in a year. It was an accident, I kept telling myself that. My parents had died in the same way, on the same road, at the exact same time on this very date thirteen years ago.

It seemed too much of a coincidence, but then, maybe I'd die like them as well, on that very road, at that very time on this date in a few years or so.

But what could I do? I am a real orphan now. And all I had was an empty house waiting for me to go back, an empty house waiting me to serve breakfast to. There would no longer be the light appreciative kisses every morning, there would no longer be the good night kisses every night, nor the be safe kisses. It was not right, I found it difficult, and to believe that my grandparents had both left me, together. It was just like with my parents, But back then I still had family, but now, it was an empty house and a deteriorating world.

If only I had known that not listening to my intuitions would lead me to the road of a shattered world.

And it was precisely after school that I had decided to go visit Sora, for the obvious comfort I was in need of. The bearer of the other half of our Paupu fruit, my best friend before my parents even died, the person I love. I got over my parents deaths, I loved Sora and he loved me, right? Love knows no bounds, isn't that what everyone says? But in my situation, this wasn't the case. And when it's me, nothing ever goes right.

I was foolish.

And it was then that I finally realized my mistake. When I turned the knob, which was surprisingly unlocked, into his house I saw his lips on hers. He was the one tied to me with a now broken red string and she was a childhood friend. I grew up with Sora by my side, he isn't just my best friend, he's also the one I love. She was the one who came later, we welcomed her with warm and open arms, we did almost everything together, the three of us, and here she was, Kairi, with Sora in his house with their lips on each other.

I never knew what a kiss meant until then.

My mistake was an unforgivable one. My mistake in believing him in the first place, and trusting her. I should have listened to my intuitions; I shouldn't have allow myself to be enchanted by him. I shouldn't have relied so much on him, and on her.

I guess this is what some people might refer to as unrequited love.

My friends and my grandparents are my world. It's impossible to live on without them. To think that a kiss had stolen the rest of my world, I must be some sensitive kid, but then, everyone would have done what I would had done. Break down and cry out the tears that refused to come out for the past thirteen years, the start of the deterioration of my world.

'When people kiss, there are all kinds of hidden rules in play…'

I had always thought a kiss was just a kiss. Nothing more. But after that scene, I could no longer look into his deceiving eyes. I could no longer treasure his smile. I could never speak to her again, and I could never go to them for comfort. Because they're part of my shattered world; my deteriorated world; a world there no longer is.

'…Where they are; who they are to each other; what relationship…'

I knew, after learning the meaning behind his kiss, I knew; I knew that a kiss was more than just a kiss, his kiss to her, was to me, betrayal.

* * *

_My destiny perhaps, after all, throughout these many worlds, there is only one sky, _

_One sky—One Destiny._

* * *

Note: Hmm….not very descriptive here….wanted to get the concept out, of a kiss, that is and I though, oh hey, KH is the perfect example. I suppose it may be a bit too exaggerated, but I wanted to create a 'bad luck' image for Riku 'cause he always seems to get the short end of the stick, you know?

"When people kiss, there are all kinds of hidden rules in play… Where they are; who they are to each other; what relationship…" quoted from: anthropologist Vaughn M,Bryant Jr.


End file.
